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 Happy Birthday Key Oppa!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ happy 19th birthday Key!!! you're still so young =D (i think you're 20 in Korea, but still im going with your international year) im sorry today i couldn't do anything for u cause im in a really depressed mood. i tried my best to smile for u on ur special day today but i just couldnt' do it =( all i can say to u is Happy Birthday =D i wish u the best and i ♥ u If you can't solve it, it isn't a problem - it's reality. And sometimes reality is the hardest thing to understand and the thing that takes the longest to realize. But once it hits you in the face you'll never forget it. It will always be there in your memories and sometimes that is the best way to look at it. Hello, everyone out there in this world ♥ the only reason im posting today is because it's Key's birthday and I want to say Happy Birthday to him JK just because im depressed doesn't mean i start talking shit to ppl and not give a care about anyone. im not that kind of person, really. sorry if i curse, i don't want to. this is day 2 of my sadness =( 100923 right now listening to music (U-Kiss!!! ♥) they're the only thing keeping me happy for now :/ everything else i don't care. i just want to listen to music and fall asleep in bed =D and not give a care to the world. "In reality, I'm slowly losing my mind. Underneath that smile, gradually I'm dying inside. Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly. Cause I don’t want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering. So I wear my disguise till I go home at night and turn down all the lights and then I break down and cry." i love this quote so much. it explains a lot more than you think of what my life is now. but sometimes i can't hide it. but i smile anyways, to stop all the questions. everytime someone asks me if something's wrong, it's really hard to answer because nothing is right. Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. You feel the way you do just because you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait. you just have to. it just won't leave you. it had to stay there until pain comes and you just cant stand it anymore. wow i wrote all of my feelings right now on here. pfftt since i wrote it already, there's no point of erasing and hiding it. instead, imma show the world, so they can know what im feeling right now. even if they try to understand, but nobody can know what living like this is like. at least it's off my chest. anyways, imma go watch U-Kiss Vampire to make me laugh for an hour. xDD byes from Lina EM |
